Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
