If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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