You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
