is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
