Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I will pee on everything he values.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
