id be glad to
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
