It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
