Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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