i jhust puked up my retainher.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
