"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
