I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
