im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
