Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
