I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
