They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
