I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
