Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
