words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
