That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
