My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
