So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Pooping to opera.
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