you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
