Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
