never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
