You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
