conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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