I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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