Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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