Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
