It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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