dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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