Please don't use social media to get back at me.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
