I wanna bring you to show and tell
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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