a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
