i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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