She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
