I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
