ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
