just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
