Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
it was like having sex with a tree stump
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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