He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just blew my weed a kiss
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
