i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
