sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
