So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
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