I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Holy sore nipples Batman
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
