kristin has been a bad kristin
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
