I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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