I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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