Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
please don't ironically join a cult
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