I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
it glows. i had to have it.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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