Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
