yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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