I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
