I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
