i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
