you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
