goodnight i made you a song goodbye
that's an acceptable place to lick
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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